fail fail fail FAIL

29 Sep

Parenthood has provided me with no shortage of opportunities to appear unprofessional or FLAT OUT INSANE.

Sometimes, I have to make work calls from home.  This is not an easy task virtually impossible for me to do in any fashion that makes me appear anything less than a complete maniac.

See: Exhibit A.

Exhibit B (an old picture of her before she started destroying her feathers. Now she is loud AND bedraggled):

Exhibit C:

Whereas the Red Monster usually just tweets and whistles, the Green Monster SQUAWKS AT THE TOP OF HIS BIRDIE LUNGS, and won’t stop squawking until Mr. Beez comes by and gives him a snuggle. When Mr. Beez is not home, however, the squawking goes ON AND ON AND ON.

I need to find a way to make a work call from my home that is not completely disrupted by all this noise.  Bird and baby noises are LOUD and they carry well, so when I make calls from home, I always have to explain myself and I come off as completely unprofessional (and crazy).

A cone of silence would be a good idea, but I don’t know where to pick one up.

I frequently make work-related calls from my front porch.  This is unpleasant in inclement weather, and not a cure-all, since the birds are SO LOUD that you can still kind of hear them from out there.

This morning, I made an important work-related call, as I was simultaneously rushing around to get myself and Baby Beez ready for Rosh Hashanah services (I should have known this was doomed from the start).  The call ended up being a voicemail and Baby Beez ended up making loud noises, so I had to explain why there were baby noises in this voicemail on a Wednesday morning, and then Baby Beez smacked her head AND STARTED SCREAMING.  I, like the terrible mother I am, put her in her crib, shut her door, ran in my room, shut my door, and attempted to leave the last 7 seconds of the voicemail in a coherent fashion.  I seriously, seriously doubt I succeeded.  (I did go cuddle her right after the voicemail ended).

My only option left is to make all work-related phone calls from my car.  At this point, this is a necessity.

Now accepting hugs and general feel good messages, because it’s one of those days where I feel like I can’t do anything right.

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2 Responses to “fail fail fail FAIL”

  1. Sandra Kozera September 29, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    Hugs and DRINKS.

  2. sonbanon September 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    Hugs!! I agree with Sandy, drinks too. And rest. And realize people sometimes do understand you can’t do EVERYTHING. I once did a work call from home when my cat crawled up and meowed into the phone. Everyone laughed. Probably the receiver of your vm understood.

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