Tag Archives: life

4:50 am is a thing?

15 Mar

sleepylolcatI don’t know how these doctors and nurses and other people who wake up super early do it.  My alarm goes off at 6 am, and every morning I am full of hate.  Left to my own devices I’d probably wake up around 7:30 or 8, but 6 still feels brutal.  Twice this week I’ve suffered through that ungodly clang at 4:50 am.  Once for a poorly scheduled personal training appointment and once for a terribly scheduled deposition.

The getting up part really isn’t the worst of it.  I woke up fine, got ready and got where I needed to get in a timely fashion.  Then around 7:30 am it all came crashing down.  I spent the rest of the day moaning sleep, I need sleep!

I’m sure early risers go to bed earlier than I do.  Last night we had an event with our synagogue, and I didn’t get to bed until after 11pm.  That made the 4:50 wake up extra terrible.  Some people can function on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I do much better on, say, 10 hours of sleep.  Not that I get it. But I’d love to.

Sleep has been a big focus of mine lately.  I had an old fashioned check up on Monday and chatted with the doctor about how I’ve been seemingly sick over and over and over since January.  Then I told her about how I’m out the door fairly early in the morning, then have work all day and then often have events in the evening and that doesn’t get me home until like 9 at night most nights.  Well duh, I’m exhausted and more susceptible to being sick and then getting sick.

I’ve officially been ordered by both my husband and my doctor to not stuff my calendar to the gills with this, that and the other thing.  This declaration comes at a good time.  I’ve got a trial I’ve been prepping for, and my work schedule doesn’t allow for me participating in many happy hours, get togethers and dinners anyway.  Til that jury verdict comes in, it’s all prep, practice, rest, repeat.

In other news, SMOKE TAQUERIA for dinner tonight, yesssss!

Funny Thing, That

12 Mar

I start a trial next week, so I downed a cup of coffee at like 9pm so I could get some work done, but now I’ve done enough work and I want to go to bed but I’m still all awake. Also I made a personal training appointment for 6am tomorrow because I am stupid.

So funny thing. I got pulled over for the first time ever today.  It was in the crime-ridden depths of the Squirrel Hill business district.  I have never been pulled over before, and I was so nervous that as I was pulling over into the only possible place I could stop my darn car, I scuffed another car.  The officer stopped me because my registration was expired. Except it’s not. It’s valid (and so is my insurance! and my license!) I just hadn’t put the sticker on my license plate because [insert very good reason here].  Anyway, the officer took my papers ran them through his computer, then gave them back to me and didn’t write me a ticket or give me a warning or anything because I didn’t do anything illegal to begin with.  But he did scold me for scuffing the other car and told me I should probably leave a note.

I considered not leaving a note because I am a terrible person and because it really genuinely was only scuffed (I could have probably buffed the mark out with my sweatshirt sleeve).  But if I didn’t leave a note, I know karma would GET ME.  So I did. I left one.  And I’ve been expectantly sitting by my cell phone all night. Except the person who owns the car probably saw it and thought “this is dumb. I can buff this out with my sweatshirt sleeve.” And didn’t bother to call.  Nonetheless, I’ll be hovering over that cell phone for days to come.

All right yinz. Time to go stare at the bedroom ceiling in caffeinated agitation until my 5am alarm goes off and wonder WHY ON EARTH WOULD I SCHEDULE PERSONAL TRAINING FOR 6AM?!

Some Sunday Sunshine

24 Feb

The gray gray sky, every single day. It’s too much. I need some sunshine. I’ve been turning my desk lamp on at work and that has helped a little, but I think I need to just go for it and buy one of those full-spectrum SAD lights that I’ve had my eye on for the last few years, but have never had the heart to plunk the cash down for.

The tipping point for me joining Weight Watchers and steeling my resolve to get to the darn gym was because a few months back, I hit an all time low with energy. It was like I was riding from coffee to coffee, just to keep myself functional.  I was getting enough sleep at night, but I wasn’t feeling rested in the day.  I knew that it would not get any better until I changed my habits.  I’ve still been fatigued, the short days and lack of sunlight do not help.  Yesterday, finally, I had a breakthrough!  I had energy! I was excited to get to the gym, and once there, I hopped on the treadmill and ran a whole 30 minutes!  The last time I ran was probably in October, and even then the longest stretch was about 12 minutes.  But yesterday, a whole 30 minutes! Victory!

I had a successful week at Weight Watchers, and I’m getting excited to hit my 10% goal in a few weeks and go SHOPPING!  I don’t have any specific ideas yet, but how cute are these:



Mr. Beez says that no way no how do I need any more shoes, but how fun would it be to have some sunny kicks to up my energy at the gym?


I’ve been grateful that work has been at the manageable end of the crazy-spectrum lately which has given me the flexibility and opportunity to focus on my health and well being.  I realized yesterday that March is going to be full-speed-ahead.  I’ve got an article, a significant brief,  a trial and a conference presentation all on my plate.  Feast or famine, folks. But I think that I am finally feeling refreshed from this somewhat quieter time, and I’m excited and ready to take on all these tasks.

Time to complain

28 Dec

Because I’m tired and grouchy.  So here is a list of things I hate:

  1. People who reach the end of an escalator and just STOP THERE instead of getting the heck out of the way.
  2. Same thing with people exiting revolving doors.
  3. People who rush to enter an elevator, without letting others get out.
  4. Mommybloggers who describe themselves as the executive of their family’s “corporation.”
  5. Blog ads that pop up right in the middle of whatever I’m trying to read.
  6. When the half & half is out at the coffee shop.
  7. People who walk three across on the sidewalk.
  8. People who walk slowly on the sidewalk and weave back and forth inevitably always in front of whatever direction I’m trying to take to get around them.
  9. When my kid rips out magazine pages including the article I really wanted to read.  (Yes, I’m bitter about not getting to finish the article about crazy John McAfee in this month’s Wired).
  10. When I’m all excited about having a coffee drink and then the coffee ends up being nasty (I’m looking at you, Wendy’s terrible Coffee Roaster thing).
  11. Pretty much everything that deals with airports/flying.


So what are you complaining about today?

Come ON.

13 Nov

Seriously, I don’t know how you people with multiple kids do it.  I’ve got one kid, and I’m about out of my mind.  I have friends who have said “I don’t know how you work such a busy job, and manage to do things around the city and spend time with your kid!”  Most of the time it’s just hectic, but fine.

Then there are weeks like this one and I think I must be out of my mind.

In litigation, things tend to go in cycles.  There will be several months of mellow time, where things are going smoothly with all your cases, and you can go on lunch dates and even work out now and then, and you’re getting all your work done, and all the clients are happy.

Then suddenly (usually around the end of summer), everything goes into a complete tizzy, and EVERY SINGLE CASE (all of which are completely unrelated mind you) ramp up simultaneously.  And it is complete chaos.

And then EVERY SINGLE THING at your husband’s job also manages to simultaneously ramp up. And that is DOUBLE complete chaos.

And then your kid keeps getting sick over and over.

Like today. When I started my billable day at 4:30am, finished things up at 9:30 pm, only to have to go pick up my kid from my husband’s work, where she was cuddled up snoozing in a corner, and wait for it….HAS CROUP.

I kid you not, she was just sick last week, throwing up all over the place last Tuesday. And now has croup. In the middle of the insane work season.  Because this is what I need right now.


But lets backtrack a minute….

It’s time to be grateful that the husband and I have the insane jobs.

And it’s time to be grateful that even though the kid manages to pick up every single childhood germ, she’s in generally good health.

And it’s time to be grateful that even though there’s no way I can miss work tomorrow to stay home with the sick kid, I know between the husband and I and possibly begging and pleading some family and friends, we’ll figure something out (even though I literally have no idea what it is at this moment).

And even though life and work and everything is completely in-sane in the membrane, it’s time to be grateful that in the bigger picture, everything is generally OK.

And now it’s time to snuggle that coughing baby, so she can feel a little better.

Same as it Ever Was, Same as it Ever Was

8 Jul

This week has been driven by an overwhelming feeling of “Wait, this is my life?”  I’ve got 40 years ahead of me of blasting through a work week, only to follow up with a weekend full of some combination of more work, laundry, grocery shopping, and if I’m lucky maybe going out for a meal.  Wedged in between the week after week of madness is, if I’m lucky, 1 week a year of vacation (which is sometimes also peppered with work), and then it’s back to the grind again.

Each of the component parts of my life I like fine– I like the substance of my work, I actually like to go grocery shopping, and I don’t even mind doing laundry.  I even like writing my work-related articles.  It’s just that doing all of these things over and over at such a rapid pace just wears me down. And it’s not like I’m the first person who has had to play this balancing act, not even close, so when it makes me feel worn down, I wonder what is wrong with me that I can’t handle this as well as everyone else.

I have vacation (a trip to Vancouver!) coming up at the end of the month, and I’m hoping that getting out of town really does do the trick.  I’m also reminding myself that the insanity of work ebbs and flows, so even though I’ve been crazy crazy crazy for the last several months, I won’t be crazy crazy crazy forever.

Pittsburgh Magazine profiled Dr. Freddie Fu  a while back, and his day starts at 4am and ends at 10pm, and is filled with work, workouts, and even leisure time.  He’s up at 4am EVERY day! He works out EVERY day, and reads 4 newspapers! Yeah, I guess that’s why he’s Dr. Fu and I’m a no-name lawyer, but still, his profile highlights all those inefficiencies and wastes in my day, and there’s just so much more I could be doing.

Ugh, so happy Sunday everybody.  Lets hope this work week brings something new and exciting.  I’ve got a date with Death Cab coming up on Friday, so that’s something to look forward to.

Balancing Act

4 May

During my first couple of years in the profession, and especially when I was pregnant with Baby Beez, I spent a lot of time worrying about work/life balance.  I was worried over how I could achieve it, whether I could achieve it, and what would happen if I couldn’t.  Most of my law friends are just starting to have kids, and since I’ve managed to keep a child alive and healthy for nearly two years, all while not getting myself fired, I have been asked a few times over the last few months “HOW do you do it?”….  As though I know what I am doing.  Poor souls, asking me for advice…

Here are my words of “wisdom” for soon-to-be or working moms and dads:

1. Stop worrying about work/life balance.  You don’t even have to actively put it out of your mind.  With a small screaming person wrecking havoc, you quickly get too tired to have that worry anymore.  Balance doesn’t exist, and you’ll get over it. All you can do is do the best you can.

2. This is my secret for getting through the day:  Get up, figure out what I have to do for the day, scramble around like a crazy person trying to get as much of it done as possible, crash in bed.  One day at a time baby, one day at a time.

3.  As kids get bigger, they totally get easier.  When Baby Beez was under six months old, it was all I could do to make it through the workday and take care of her.  The idea of packing a lunch was completely overwhelming and impossible.  Forget dinner, we did a lot of take out, because the stress of cooking for myself was too tiring and overwhelming.  As the kid gets bigger, she entertains herself more, and she’s much more independent.  You gradually regain the ability to function as an adult.  Really, you do. I promise.

4. Don’t feel bad about sending your kid to daycare.  I was so worried that I’d feel guilty.  Now, the idea of guilt just seems ridiculous.  Baby Beez is spending her day with trained professionals who keep her happy and engaged ALL DAY.  She is making friends! She is making messes that I don’t have to clean up! And I don’t feel bad plopping down on the couch with her to watch Elmo in Grouchland in the evening, because I know she’s spent all day long playing and learning.  Daycare is awesome, embrace it!

5.  Keep being yourself.  Hang out with your friends.  Do the grown up things you like to do.  Quality time with your little one is invaluable, but so is quality time with friends and grown-ups.

Have you let go of the idea of “balance”?

Great Expectations and the Hard Life of a College Student

22 Mar

I’m actually reading Great Expectations. For real.  I’m not lying this time.

It’s a surprisingly fun book. I don’t know what I expected, but the characters are more interesting and the language more colorful than I expected.  I suppose I anticipated the book to be boring and dry, because that’s what I thought of A Tale of Two Cities.  I hated A Tale of Two Cities.  That could be because I read it in 11th grade, and anything a teacher tells you to read in 11th grade is awful and boring and terrible.

I am in two book clubs, and I had back to back book club meetings this week.  In each we reminisced about the difficult life of a college student.  I took all kinds of literature classes in college– classes about Chaucer, Bertolt Brecht, Indo-European Folktales, tons of classes on Children’s literature, Pop Culture, lots and lots and lots of different things. And all I remember about college is that I felt like it was haaard, because I was working and going to school.  Fast forward to now, and I do all that same kind of reading BY CHOICE and on my free time.  I spend the workday reading and thinking and writing, and then I et home and consciously seek out more things to read and think about and write about.  Aside from the utter fun and foolishness of college, I wish I could rewind my life and take all those classes again, so I could appreciate and enjoy reading all kinds of books and writing about them.  I moaned and groaned about writing papers in college, but if I were assigned a book to read and write critically now, it would be the best assignment I could imagine.  Whippersnappers just don’t understand.